Our Pride, My Inspiration.

Today, i would like to share about our nation Hero and Sarawak Pride, who's being a huge inspiration for me getting through my military life for these 3 years. He is late PW 1 Temenggong Datuk Kanang anak Langkau, a soldier from the Iban Dayak community in Sarawak. He passed away yesterday, on January 3th, 2013 caused by heart failure at Sarawak General Hospital. Kanang anak Langkau was born on 1945 in Julau, Sarawak. He joined the service with the Sarawak Rangers, then part of the British Army, as an Iban Tracker on 21 April 1962. He was absorbed into the Malaysian Rangers when Malaysia was proclaimed on 16 September 1963. He left the service after 21 years of service as a First Warrant Officer. On 24 September 2011, he was conferred the 'Panglima Gemilang Bintang Kenyalang' (PGBK) with the title of 'Datuk' by the Governor of Sarawak. He was one of only a few number of people ever conferred the "Seri Pahlawan Gagah Perkasa" and "Pingat Gagah Berani". Being a Sarawakian and origin as Dayak community, i felt very proud as there is very few number of Dayak people that really being recognized in Military services. My father also is a former Chief Warrant when he retired, & i guess that really influenced me to have huge interest in military. now that i had signed up in PALAPES i can really experienced how to be a true army. After the death of PW 1 Temenggong Datuk Kanang anak Langkau, i had set goal for myself to not try to quit from palapes. I maybe getting weak or hopeless during my battle heavy training but, i know i am capable to get through these 3 years. Being the only two non-muslim and Dayak in my squad together with my Sarawakian friend, i will try my very best to stay and will be commissioned as sub-lieutenants or young officer. As for late PW 1 Temenggong Datuk Kanang anak Langkau, may your soul rest in peace. Amen.

Our Hero, Our Pride

joining ROTU??? duhh...

ROTU stands for Reserved Officer Training Unit. i actually were so into this military thing before i actually decide to prolonged my study in UPM. But, when knowing that i would never get into military team as i am very short..duhhhh.. people would laugh and doubtly that i will make it to ROTU.. i get it!! but, TIADA YG MUSTAHIL. so, i signed up for ROTU. My parents were so thrilled about me joining ROTU..hahaha..OK. i will try my best to stay in this 34th Intake as i did 'keluar baris' for a while  as i think im not being myself.. but thinking back, it will bring so much to me after i get through all these. im not gonna be myself based on my appereance and behaviour, & i think thats makes me stronger  in mentally and physically aspects. FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED, my motto for this 3 crucial years.  i know my parents & friends support, i will make it.. Amen. God will always lead me to my succesful. Im not a player, im a fighter..yeahhhh.. =)

Table Test

SNOWY, SNOWY...ITS CHRISTMAS!!

Seems like just last week i've been home for holiday, i really can't believe tomorrow is CHRISTMAS!! woahhh!! well, im writing this not because im too lazy clean up house and set up ornaments, but im still stuck in my campus room way too far from my hometown. im still in Bintulu, duhhh.. Actually, i did plan to celebrate Christmas 2011 here but something didn't go well, but hey i still had a chance to go home and taste the homemade cook.... :) damn i really miss this homey whole things. Hope this Christmas will serve me better than previous. I don't get it, it is me or just the whole Christmas thing make everything hard on me. Theres a secret between me and Christmas..only Santa know it..HOHOHOHO (Santa's laugh). whatever might happen, i will be home tomorrow, 25th December 2011 at 11am. MTC bus. :P yayy!! while all my friends who celebrate Christmas is home right now, i wait patiently for my turn tomorrow. hope everything goin fine..i should remind myself lol! Talking about Christmas, ever heard of Mistletoe?? i know it is an evergreen leaves with berries used for deco. i did hear it on Christmas songs but just a few days ago i got an American friend who told me about kissing under mistletoe..sounds weird to me..lol! but it only happen during Christmas..but hey anything can happen during Christmas..lol. & 1 thing 2012 is just around the corner!!! time plays it part ticking to the 2012 moment..man, why everything happen so fast lately..! obviously growing up is my biggest fear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can i be in this age forever..??? *wink* of course not..lmao. btw, i still searching.....(u know who u r) anyway, its Christmas & everyone should enjoy regardless who u r..i will keep my blog in Christmas mode until end of January..hua3. MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012 to my readers..<3 <3 <3 <3 here's song Frosty, the Snow man for u guys..enjoy ur hoilday peeps!!

i heart Drop Dead

Last week during my class trip, i saw DROP DEAD GORGEOUS shirts on sale. I was like ' you've got to be kidding me, theres no way this place have that cool stuff '..lol. But it did!! So i dont to miss a chance to grab one. It was so damn awesome at last i had this shirt.. But i was kinda disapointed now that i should buy more than one instead!! Damn. Are you kiddin me, theres a really least of chance that anyone can get this shirt anywhere in my country. VERY RARE!! So, im just so lucky that now i owned a shirt created by our very own Oli Sykes, lead vox of BMTH.. there is a shop that sale original DDG & other cool brands that i know the only one 27 Heaven store located in KL (far away from my hometown, at least by flight to get there). So far, theres no fix store that sale original DDG here. :( Therefore, i was highly hoping that retailers in KL would at least come across to their mind to set up a new store of these cool brands in Kuching, so that more cool peoples can own themselves this cool brands ;-) That would be awesome..Drop Dead definitely one of my fav, i wonder if theres a dress & short pants of DDG :P well, i never wear my DDG shirt until today..lol!

Unforgetable Holiday Ever. (Part 1)

I never expect my 1 month holiday would be this 'amazing' lol.. Guess wat.. i experienced all the bitter sweet things this holiday. All things that i never expect to happens!! Its all start when i hopped off the plane and met my parents and drives me home..all the homecoming stuff you know.. :) Back in home, i started to do what i keep thinking to to do for a past weeks and things i should do during holiday in years back. IS TO FIND A JOB. So,i while busy search for any vacancies that fits my requirements, i have this awkward feeling. Of course coz tomorrow is my birthday..lol. I just kept it silence beside turns 20 is no fun to me right now. seriously. Then, my eyes caught something 'immediate vacancies'. So, i called 'boss' instantly...Awesome!!! I got it but i need to walk in interview first. So, all i have to do is nail the interview tomorrow and seemingly they do need stuff right now. So, thats the intro of my holiday. After i got the job, i have to find a skirt and heels because i need them for work!!! Damn, i never wear skirt together with heels. This gotta be something new to me and i'll take it. of course. My first day working is totally messed up. Just like a kid learn to first walk. It was the craziest night. I never thought this place will turn into....*speechless*. The light and laser flashed off everywhere. Almost made me sick. After a long night, i can't wait to go home. After a week, the world freakiest moment happen to me. I ran into accident while im on my way for work. Only God knows how i feel that moment. the day be my non-stop crying day for me ever. I just can't take it what just happen and i know i will give a lot of trouble to my parents. They will bear all these messed up i've done. DAMN!! I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH THAT TIME!! I guess shit sometimes slip into our happiness moments when we not aware of it. After it takes few days for me to get rid the nightmare, i run my life as normal as i can just like any teenage can be. Thats it. The end of part 1-

Here Comes The Part Where Immature People Will Freak Out :(

17..18..19..20. Those are number that no one expect to be so fast. For some reason, immature people like me (lol!!)never thought of getting adults and settle in the new phase of our life, but of course we all will ended up being adult somehow. Life gets difficult when we got older. I think that what really freak me out when the time has come for us to feel something..adulthood???? Damn.. So, this is how it feels when we're about to turn 20 huhh.. People may said its normal and . I can pretend to be cool and act like a normal, u know, like we turn 17, somehow i don't feel like to be in that phase!!! Maybe you've heard 'whats the big deal gettin 20??'..well pretty sure its a big deal because it is the part of our life.. 'cycle of life'. Too many things need to get done, huge responsibilities, being independent..Arggggg!!! too much for immature 'kid' like me. Is tis a pressure i feel??? Damn, hate it when pressure silently come, especially it doesn't come from books and notes like the one that i've spend red for this whole week. Somehow, i feel grateful and very thankful because i was given a chance to feel and be part of gettin 20 and being an adult. Just for this month, i've heard few news about a friends. That was very pity and sad. Anyway, dz morning i will go back to my hometown, Kuching and tomorrow is a big day for me but i don't feel like to enjoy the day. Hope that my family don't plan or thinking to throw a party for me. I hate surprise but i knew it can or will happen. It happen to me last year, 2 days after i got back. I cried when my mother took out the birthday cake & there goes the singing and wishing thing..hahah!!! I mean like when you will get a chance to surprise others if not on their birthday. lol. I think planning to hide in a closet on my birthday, avoid gettin noticed.lol Seriously, if i had given any power, i would choose to build a time machine, so i can go back to past and see what i've done to my life so far. IT IS HARD TO LET GO OF YOUR LIFE WHEN WE STILL CREATING OURSELVES. But, no worries, we are no. one helper for ourself. God will always be there for us :) So far, im happy with my life, being who i am, whom i live with, even life never been perfect (it is not).
 These song somehow recall how i can done better than what i've done in past. But, what is done is done!!! (that reminds me of one thing lol)

 

 Time Won't Let Go

Whenever I look back
On the best days of my life
I think I saw them all on T.V.
I am so homesick now for
Someone that I never knew
I am so homesick now for
Someplace I will never be

Time won't let me go
If I could do it all again
I'd go back and change everything
But time won't let me go

I never had a 'Summer of 69'
Never had a Cherry Valance of my own
All these precious moments
You promised me would come in time
So where was I when I missed mine?

 

If I could go back once again
I would change everything, yeah
If I could go back once again
I'd do it all so much better

Sleeping With Sirens-Let Love Bleed Red

Is it naive to make plans that seem so far away?
There's a reason I feel this way,
you're sleeping alone, I'm awake.
As you dream of me tonight, am I close to where you are?

Lay me down,
and tell me everything will be alright, things will be alright.
Lay me down,
and tell me everything will be alright. Things will be alright.
This could mean everything or nothing at all
You take what is real, I'll give you my all.

Is it naive to make plans that seem so, so, so far?
I think, "let's not wait, let's love right now.
Let's love right now."

Lay me down,
and tell me everything will be alright, things will be alright.
Lay me down,
and tell me everything will be alright. Things will be alright.

[Aaron Marsh]
Oh here where we lie, outstretched to wonder why we don't belong.
You deserve much more, and I'll give until I'm all gone.
Forever know your face and ever take your place here by my side,
like a ghost into night,
the poisoned apple to my bite.
I'll be the shadow at your door,
I'll be the moth into your light,
cause you deserve much more.
Yeah, you deserve much more.

Lay me down,
tell me everything will be alright, things will be alright.
Thunder storms could never shake us.
Lay me down and kiss me like things will be alright.
Everything will be alright.
This could mean everything or nothing at all.
You take what is real, I'll give you my all. 

Aren't the lyrics just amazing...every words just sank deep inside my blood. I Fucking Love This song. <3