17..18..19..20. Those are number that no one expect to be so fast. For some reason, immature people like me (lol!!)never thought of getting adults and settle in the new phase of our life, but of course we all will ended up being adult somehow. Life gets difficult when we got older. I think that what really freak me out when the time has come for us to feel something..adulthood???? Damn.. So, this is how it feels when we're about to turn 20 huhh.. People may said its normal and . I can pretend to be cool and act like a normal, u know, like we turn 17, somehow i don't feel like to be in that phase!!! Maybe you've heard 'whats the big deal gettin 20??'..well pretty sure its a big deal because it is the part of our life.. 'cycle of life'. Too many things need to get done, huge responsibilities, being independent..Arggggg!!! too much for immature 'kid' like me. Is tis a pressure i feel??? Damn, hate it when pressure silently come, especially it doesn't come from books and notes like the one that i've spend red for this whole week. Somehow, i feel grateful and very thankful because i was given a chance to feel and be part of gettin 20 and being an adult. Just for this month, i've heard few news about a friends. That was very pity and sad. Anyway, dz morning i will go back to my hometown, Kuching and tomorrow is a big day for me but i don't feel like to enjoy the day. Hope that my family don't plan or thinking to throw a party for me. I hate surprise but i knew it can or will happen. It happen to me last year, 2 days after i got back. I cried when my mother took out the birthday cake & there goes the singing and wishing thing..hahah!!! I mean like when you will get a chance to surprise others if not on their birthday. lol. I think planning to hide in a closet on my birthday, avoid gettin noticed.lol Seriously, if i had given any power, i would choose to build a time machine, so i can go back to past and see what i've done to my life so far. IT IS HARD TO LET GO OF YOUR LIFE WHEN WE STILL CREATING OURSELVES. But, no worries, we are no. one helper for ourself. God will always be there for us :) So far, im happy with my life, being who i am, whom i live with, even life never been perfect (it is not).
These song somehow recall how i can done better than what i've done in past. But, what is done is done!!! (that reminds me of one thing lol)
Time Won't Let Go
Whenever I look back
On the best days of my life
I think I saw them all on T.V.
I am so homesick now for
Someone that I never knew
I am so homesick now for
Someplace I will never be
Time won't let me go
If I could do it all again
I'd go back and change everything
But time won't let me go
I never had a 'Summer of 69'
Never had a Cherry Valance of my own
All these precious moments
You promised me would come in time
So where was I when I missed mine?
If I could go back once again
I would change everything, yeah
If I could go back once again
I'd do it all so much better
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